Seniors often don’t realize that getting a little help now, when they’re getting a little older, can help them remain living independently for a lot longer than if they try to do everything on their own.
Following are strategies from Home Instead Senior Care® and family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix to help family caregivers turn resistance into assistance.
- Understand where the resistance is coming from. Ask your parent why he or she is resisting. “Mom, I notice that every time I bring up the idea of someone coming in to help, you resist it. Why is that?” Oftentimes older adults don’t realize they are being resistant.
- Explain your goals. Remind your loved one that you both want the same thing. Explain that a little extra help can keep her at home longer and will help put your mind at ease as well. Have a candid conversation with him about the impact this care is having on your life. Oftentimes seniors don’t understand the time commitment of a caregiver.
- Bring in outside help. If a relationship with a parent is deteriorating, ask a professional, such as a geriatric care manager, for an assessment. A third-party professional can provide valuable input. Also, go to www.4070talk.com for tips on how to talk with a loved one. If you are having problems getting through to your older adult, consider asking another family member or close friend to intervene. If you’re not making headway, perhaps there’s someone better to talk with your parents.
- Research your options to find the best resources for your loved one. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or a geriatric care manager to research resources in your community. Or download The Home Care Solution, a guide for family caregivers to help them find the best in-home care for their loved ones. If you decide outside help is needed, reassure your parents and tell them you have researched caregivers and you are confident you have found the best one you can find to come into the home to help.
- Respect your parent’s decisions. Sometimes you won’t agree with your parent’s decisions and that’s O.K. As long as your loved one is of sound mind, he or she should have the final say.
A note: If your senior has dementia, seek professional assistance from a doctor or geriatric care manager. Logic often will not work and other strategies must be employed.
For more information or to get answers to your questions, please contact your local Home Instead Senior Care office. In Sonoma County, we can be reached — anytime day or night – by calling 707.586.1516. Or you can visit our digital web brochure at http://hisc392.digbro.com.
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All of these are very good tips and a well written article. Number 5 is the one I see most often ignored. Having respect for your parent’s decisions is very important and oftentimes overlooked. Medical alert systems for seniors is a topic of much discussion between children and their aging parents. It’s a touchy subject for some but ultimately the person using the system must be in agreement with the caregiver or child who is looking out for the best interest of their parent.