In this video series “Aging Parent Care,” Mary Alexander from Home Instead Senior Care explains that, while there are lots of good reasons seniors want to stay home, one of the fears that drives this desire is the potential loss of independence.

They so much want to avoid being a burden on their families and to maintain their lifestyle that they often deny their true need for care and make bad decisions about what they really need to do to remain at home. But there are signs, and this video series tells you what to look for.

This video is the first of four videos on this topic, and of many other educational videos that you can find at CaregiverStress.com.

If you have any questions about how to work best with an aging parent, how to recognize the signs of aging and when to call for additional caregiving help, please call your local Home Instead Senior Care office. In Sonoma County, the number is 707.586.1516.

“In sickness and in health.”

They are five words that make up a short but very important sentence.  Yet it can be extremely difficult to be a spouse and care for a sick loved one.  It’s physically draining, emotionally challenging, and financially stressful for any caregiver, but is especially hard on a spouse.

Home Instead of Sonoma CAREGivers, like Donna, help to care for elderly when it's difficult for a spouse or family member to do so.

Steven H. Zarit, a Pennsylvania University gerontologist, tells the Arizona Republic that spouses who care for a sick lover are dealing with their own age-related health limitations.

Plus, longer life spans means that once-fatal conditions like heart disease are more manageable, which means sicknesses can last a very long time.   

Essentially, it means a sick spouse could be caring for a slightly sicker spouse. And that’s not a great scenario for sure.

At Home Instead, we’ve developed a specialized resource guide for spouses (or family members) who are giving care to sick loved ones.

You can find it at www.caregiverstress.com. The site includes a Stressmeter, where you’ll be able to better how much stress is too much to handle.  (The Stressmeter is also found on our blog, in the right-hand sidebar).

Consider this: A study released this year by the University of South Florida and the University of Alabama at Birmingham found that high care-giving strain among spouses increased the risk of stroke by 23 percent.  That association was particularly strong among husbands caring for wives, the study noted.

If this scenario sounds all-too-familiar either to you as a spouse or to someone you know, we encourage you to visit www.caregiverstress.com, where you’ll find helpful tips on taking care of yourself while taking care of your loved one. Because tending to both are just as important.

For more information about Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County and the services we provide – such as light housekeeping, meal preparation, transportation and more – please call our Sonoma County Home Care office at 707.586.1516 anytime.  Or you can visit our senior home care digital brochure.

Summer in Sonoma County (La Crema Winery)

Summer is the perfect time to consider giving the gift of a Home Instead CAREGiver to an elderly loved one, a relative or a friend.

As we celebrate family time, we cherish the moments we spend with our Mom, Dad or grandparents.

But we also become more aware with each passing day that as our loved ones get older and find it difficult to remain living independently in their own homes. So the lending hand of a trained CAREGiver can be all that is needed to be sure your loved one gets the extra care they deserve.

Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County can provide your Mom or Dad or other elderly loved one with home helper services such as light housekeeping, medication reminders, meal preparation — even transportation to a doctor’s appointment, grocery store or religious services.

Many Seniors in Sonoma County are lonely, may be suffering depression and are in need of companionship care — someone to read to them, play games, socialize or reminisce about the past. Home Instead CAREGivers are also specially trained to help the elderly who are experiencing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

Our CAREGivers take special care to maintain the elderly person’s dignity and to treat our clients with ultimate respect in their aging years.

If you are interested in giving the gift of a CAREGiver for an elderly loved one, simply call our Sonoma County Home Instead Senior Care office at 707.586.1516. Make an appointment for a free, no obligation home care assessment right away.

Because…To us, it’s personal.

Our Home Instead CAREGivers often become just like family members, spending simple yet quality time with their Clients while they care for them.  This story is written by our Home Instead of Sonoma County CAREGiver, Anne, about spending time with her Client, Annemarie.  Enjoy.

The first time I was scheduled to work with Annemarie I was told that she was sweet and liked to go for walks. And that was a good description of her.  For the first two weeks I worked with her, we would take walks in her neighborhood around the block, and sometimes after dinner if we had time we would go on a short walk in her apartment complex. 

After a while I started thinking maybe she would like to go for a walk somewhere else. So I asked my office if it would be okay to take her to a park or somewhere else to go for a walk and they approved it for me.  

So I started researching and looking for a good place that she could take her front-wheeled walker easily without a lot of problems. Once I found a couple of different locations. the very next day I asked her if she would like to go for a walk at a park somewhere else. Annemarie’s eyes lit up and she said yes!

We have tried many different parks and places to go on our walk, but Annemarie and I have a favorite park that has a little lake and birds to feed.

So now a normal day for Annemarie and I starts off with her and I cutting up some French bread to feed the birds and then we gather our things together and head out.

We drive over to the park and feed the birds while we walk around the lake. It’s a nice park, easy for Annemarie to get around considering she has a front-wheeled walker.

It’s not too long of a walk and there are plenty of benches to stop and sit on while we feed the birds.

After we return home from the park I make her dinner and clean up the kitchen.

After dinner, Annemarie and I sit down and practice some of her voice exercises. Due to the fact that Annemarie has had a stroke that has affected her ability to speak, we work together practicing saying the days of the week, months of the year and our ABC’s. She is doing so great and is now able to say “thank you” and other words really well.

After that our time together comes to an end until the next day. 

Isn’t that a great story?  Our Home Instead CAREGivers really bring a lot of joy to our clients and find things to do to brighten up their day.  We put together this short video about Anne and Annemarie’s Day at the Park.  We hope you like it too.

We can quickly provide experienced CAREGivers to take care of your aging loved one, parent or grandparent  Call us anytime at 707.586.1516.  Or, for more information, visit our digital brochure at http://hisc392.digbro.com.

The Starfish Story

Adapted from the Starfish Thrower by Loren Eisley

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.  He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

Our CAREGiver, Donna

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer.  He smiles to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out. “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I must ask, then why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is gong out. If I don’t throw then in, they will die.”

Our CAREGiver, Christine

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But young man, do you not realize that there are miles of beach and there are starfish along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

At this the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said “It made a difference for that one.”

Our Home Instead CAREGivers make a difference every day! If you know of anyone who could benefit from our caring services, please contact us so we can start making a difference in someone’s life…today!

Home Instead Senior Care…To us, it’s personal.  Simply call our Rohnert Park home care office at 707-586-1516.  We serve all of Sonoma County with extraordinary senior home care and companionship services.

The Apple Pie Story is a very real depiction of the challenges faced when a parent is living at a distance. This daughter is a child who grows up to be her Mother’s best friend as they navigate Alzheimer’s disease together. In this particular case study, the story takes on a Mother’s Day theme.

The caregiver interview and analysis following the story, illustrates many useful coping strategies that worked in this situation for this family. These care solutions may prove useful for others dealing with similar challenges.

. . .  a daughter is a child who grows up to be a friend. In this story, the daughter becomes her Mother’s best friend as they navigate Alzheimer’s disease together.

My mother, Shirley is 82 years old.  She lives in Indiana; I live in Los Angeles. Although Mother remains vibrant and highly independent, there are moments when she has episodes of short term memory and confusion.

One rainy Sunday Mother calls me up, “Dear, I’m baking an apple pie this morning, how many apples shall I peel?”

Now, I wondered at this, as mother has always been an expert baker. “Well Mother, I think perhaps 6 apples should be sufficient.

A few minutes later the phone rings again. “This is your mother calling, dear. I’m baking an apple pie, and I am wondering how long should it remain in the oven?”

I assured Mother of the approximate baking time. I was hardly surprised when the phone rang 45 minutes later. “Dear, this is your mother. Do you think the apple pie is ready to come out of the oven? It looks golden brown.”

“Mother, it smells delicious.” The aroma of cinnamon is wafting to me over the telephone.

“Good”, says Mother, “Out it comes from the oven, and I’ve set two plates out; I shall slice us each a piece dear.”

“Lovely!” said I. And Mother & I enjoyed this special moment over a piece of warm apple pie.

The above story evokes childhood memories many of us have shared with our own mother.  The interview with the daughter follows:

Do you worry about your Mother living so far away?

I try not to attach worry. Mother has lived in Indiana all her life; her roots are there. Many of her friends remain living close by. I would love to have her living closer by us, but she simply will not leave her roots. And the other thing. Independence has always been very important to Mother. Keeping her as independent for as long as possible outweighs the worry.

And what suggestions could you make for other families having loved ones living at a distance?

1. Keep in touch as best you can and just know that your loved one is alive and well. I chat with Mother just about every day. Somedays, she doesn’t remember that I have called.
2. Find out as much as you can about the local resources where your loved one is living and remain connected with these resources.
3. And Mother has a wonderful neighbor, who keeps me posted of any happenings.

Talk about some of the things you have in place for your Mother to maintain her safety and independence.

As mentioned earlier, Mother’s independence is very important to her. She always has been an ‘in charge kind of gal,’ and the thought of becoming dependent frustrates her terribly. So what I try to do, is focus on Mother’s strengths, and what she still does really well.

We have Mother connected to the Life Line as a safety measure, in case of emergency, or if Mother should fall, help is just a phone call away.

Mother has always been prone to bladder infections. Her doctor has told her that she should drink more cranberry juice to prevent these infections. The last time I visited Mother, I assured she had a good supply of cranberry juice and reminded her to drink the juice at least twice daily. Naturally, as soon as I leave, she forgets to drink the juice. So, what I’ve done is to advise two of Mother’s good friends of the situation. They live close by and bring Mother the cranberry juice when I cannot. It seems a little thing but it keeps Mother from becoming ill, and cuts down on my worry.

Your Mother seems to be an expert cook. Were you surprised by the apple pie questions?

Yes, Mother has always been a great cook. Ever since the diagnosis, I find that each day with Mother is an adventure. Each day is a new experience and I don’t know what to expect. So, when the telephone rang and Mother had questions about the apple pie, I must say I wasn’t really surprised!

How has the onset of Alzheimer’s disease changed your relationship with your Mother?

It may sound strange, but this diagnosis has actually brought us closer together. There is somewhat of a role reversal; I mean, I have taken over the mothering role and that’s alright with me. I mean, Shirley has made so many sacrifices in her life for me. Now it’s my turn to support her. She will always be my mother and I love her dearly.

Talk about some of your other childhood memories.

I have a younger brother, Peter. At the time, I remember, I was about 7 years old and Peter 5 years old. On Saturdays, Mother would always let Peter and I take over her kitchen and bake anything we wanted. We could make as many messes as we liked. This particular Saturday, Peter and I decided we were going to bake an ‘Angel Food cake.’

I was mixing the dry ingredients in the mixing bowl; Mother was showing Peter how to separate the eggs, because in this recipe the egg whites have to be whipped. At the very moment when Mother turned her back around to the cupboard to reach something, Peter turned the mixmaster on highest speed, the egg whites whipped up out of the bowl, hitting the ceiling. Peter and I both screamed. Mother looked up at the egg whites splattered all over the ceiling, and her only comment was, “oh, I guess this is a good time to wash the kitchen ceiling.”

Sounds like your Mother has a good sense of humor?

Yes, and Mother always thought that childhood should be about building memories and having fun. She could always make us children laugh and she always injected fun into the stuff we were doing. Like the time Dad brought home the ‘biggest fish.’ Daddy had it all cleaned and ready for pan-frying. Mother called us for dinner when this was all ready and prepared. There in the middle of Dad’s dinner plate was this teeny, weeny sardine fish! We laughed so hard.

Even with the Alzheimer’s disease, does she still retain her sense of humor?

Absolutely!! Alzheimer’s disease has robbed Mother of her memories, not her heart. Her sense of humor is alive and well. She can no longer remember a lot of the things we did together when I was a child growing up. Although some of Mother’s brightness is vanishing, we are making new memories every day. We still laugh a lot.

About the author, Gwendolyn deGeest RN, BSN, MA

Gwendolyn deGeest RN, BSN, MA is the author of “Bathing Sparky” She has been working in dementia care for over two decades and has witnessed the joys and sorrows of families struggling to maintain a quality of life for themselves and their loved ones. Gwendolyn’s thesis, “The Relation Between the Perceived Role of Family and the Behavior of the Person with Dementia” is published in the American Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, May/June, 2003. This work was presented at The International Congress of Gerontology, Vancouver, Canada. Gwendolyn resides in Vancouver, with her family where she is a professor.

Gwendolyn welcomes your questions/comments at gmdegeest@cruiserespite.com.  More info can be found on her website at  http://www.cruiserespite.com.  And Gwendolyn is planning a ”Caregiver Seminar at Sea” 7-night Alaska Caregiver Cruise on September 5 – 12, 2010 — for more information on the cruise, click Caregiver Seminar at Sea.

About Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County, CA

The Apple Pie Story has been reprinted on the Home Instead Sonoma blog with permission from the author.  Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County provides non-medical in-home care to Seniors throughout Sonoma County including Petaluma, Rohnert Park, Santa Rosa, Sonoma, Windsor and more.  Our CAREGiving services include medication reminders, light housekeeping, meal preparation, transportation, personal care and companionship services.  For more information, please call our Rohnert Park senior care office at 707.586.1516 or visit our website at http://HomeInstead.com/392.   To us, it’s personal.

Once again, our CEO and co-founder of Home Instead Senior Care has been featured in a prominent publication. 

This time, Woman’s Day magazine features Paul Hogan in an article entitled, “How to Care for Aging Parents: try these strategies to make helping Mom and Dad less stressful.”

There are literally millions of baby boomers who are caring for their aging parents.  If you happen to be one of them, this article contains some helpful advice such as: 

• Be Prepared
• Explore the Options
• Think Twice about Relocation
• Talk Money
• Ask for Help

A elderly parent’s sudden stroke or fall can alter an adult child’s life quickly, so it’s important to have the caregiver conversation when everything is still fine. Use the 40/70 rule, suggests Paul Hogan, coauthor of Stages of Senior Care. When you’re 40 or your parents are 70, talk to them about their preferences.

For additional tips on caring for your aging parent, you can download the 40/70 brochure here:  The 40-70 Rule: A Guide to Conversation Starters for Boomers and their Senior Loved Ones.

And for more information about how our Home Instead CAREGivers can help both you and your aging loved one, please call our Sonoma County home care office at 707.586.1516.  From our Rohnert Park office, we  serve all of Sonoma County including Petaluma, Santa Rosa, Sebastopol, Windsor and more.

UPDATE 3/8/10: This event only has 20 seats left and is booking fast.  Please RSVP today to reserve your seat.

Teepa Snow, renowned Alzheimer’s and Dementia expert, will be in Santa Rosa, CA, on March 22 for an all-day training and dementia workshop on Changing the World of Alzheimer’s. Event will be held 9-4pm at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center and is sponsored by Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County and Brighton Gardens. CEU Credits available. Additional senior home care seminar dates the week of 3/22 in San Francisco, Oakland, San Jose and Millbrae.

Teepa Snow, renowned dementia care and Alzheimer’s care expert, will lecture on “Changing the World of Alzheimer’s” on March 22nd, from 9-4pm, at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center in Santa Rosa.

Her training will include: 

• understanding of dementia (symptoms, progression and support that can help)
• demystifying resistance and
• coping with challenging behaviors during personal care activities

This all-day educational course is free to general public, and family caregivers, and has been approved for CEUs for registered nurses and health care professionals for small processing fee.

Teepa Snow is an occupational therapist specializing in dementia care and education. In addition to her private practice, Teepa has clinical appointments with Duke University’s School of Nursing and UNC-Chapel Hill’s School of Medicine. She is a frequent speaker on dementia care to gerontology and health care and nursing professional programs throughout the U.S.

In addition, Teepa Snow provides training and education to the Alzheimer’s Association, Alzheimer Society, state health care provider organizations, professional and caregiver associations.

For health care professionals, this all-day Santa Rosa course has been approved by the California State Board of Registered Nurses (BRN for RNs, LVNs, and CNAs) and is eligible for 6 CEU Credits, provider No. CEP 11967. MFTs and/or LCSWs has been approved by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences as well — 6 CEU Credits, provider No. PCE 987.

This dementia training event is sponsored by the senior in-home care professionals at Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County (Rohnert Park, CA) and by Brighton Gardens of Santa Rosa, CA — a Sunrise senior living community.

COST: $40 processing fee for CEU credits per attendee, $15 for CNAs. NO CHARGE for family caregivers or general public. Seating is limited. Lunch is included. Must RSVP in advance of event.

RSVP: For information and pre-registration, call 707.586.1516 which is the Rohnert Park office of Home Instead Senior Care or you can view details online at http://HomeInsteadSonoma.com/events.

Can’t attend March 22 in Santa Rosa? Home Instead is sponsoring additional Teepa Snow events that same week: March 23rd in Oakland, March 24th in San Francisco, March 25th in San Jose, March 26th in Millbrae. Call Home Instead Senior Care of Rohnert Park for more information and contact info for the other events: 707.586.1516.

Choosing a nursing home for a loved one is a daunting task. Let Home Instead help make it easier.

For a reasonably healthy senior, a nursing home still is probably not the right choice.  But for the senior who truly needs skilled medical care and intense supervision, a nursing home may be exactly the best place to live.

If your elderly parent or loved one – perhaps a mom, dad or aunt — is in the stage of senior care in which they need a nursing home in Sonoma County, there are a few things to remember when choosing one over another.  The important thing is to do your research and homework to find the one that best suits your senior’s needs. 

Here are 12 things to look for in choosing the right nursing home for your elderly parent or loved one in Sonoma County:

• Visit, observe, ask and try
• Check ratio of nurses and nursing assistants to residents
• Determine staff tenure and turnover
• Ask about physician availability:  full-time or part-time?
• How close is the closest hospital?
• Review the most recent oversight-agency survey
• Look for activities offered by the facility
• Check the food by inviting yourself to meals
• Check exercise and entertainment offerings – do residents participate?
• Determine if speech and physical therapy services are offered
• Consider proximity to family
• Understand the cost and financing options

And don’t forget to ask people for referrals.  At Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma, we work with many senior care facilities including independent living, assisted living, retirement homes, retirement communities and nursing homes.  Our caregivers provide non-medical care such as companionship services and individual transportation — those are things that nursing and medical care facilities don’t always provide.

Many of the best nursing homes in Sonoma County are staffed with teams of well-trained, professional registered and practical nurses as well as certified nursing assistants.  In case of an emergency, physicians and psychiatrists are close at hand to deal with medical crises, which should give you and your family greater peace of mind.  So nursing homes continue to serve a very important role on the spectrum or continuum of care for the elderly.

Keep in mind that when people are in a nursing home, companionship is the one thing that is often left out.  Our Home Instead CAREGivers often visit our clients to reminisce about the past, to play their favorite game, to read an inspiring book to them and simply to be there on a regular basis when family cannot.

For a free, no-obligation home care consultation, simply call our home care Rohnert Park office at 707.586.1516.  Or, if you’d like to view our digital brochure, you can do so at this link:  Home Instead Sonoma Digital Brochure.  We serve all of Sonoma County including Petaluma, Santa Rosa, Sebastopol, Sonoma, Windsor and more. 

And remember, “To us, it’s personal.”

Don't let the stress of the caregiving for a loved one negatively affect your health. Call Home Instead Senior Care for help.

According to a recent MetLife Study of Working Caregivers and Employee Health Care Costs, people who are employed and who are also responsible for taking care of an elderly relative or friend, will likely have more health issues than those who are not caregivers and will potentially cost their employers $13.4 billion annually.

Anyone who has ever bore the responsibility of being a caregiver to a spouse, mother, father or other loved one or friend, knows that it can be a full-time job alone.  For those who also have to hold down a full-time job on top of that, it can be nearly devastating physically, emotionally — and even financially.

Many family caregivers just don’t know where to turn.  They feel responsible for taking care of their loved one and that it is necessary for them to bear the entire burden of care themselves.  But that’s simply not true. 

There are so many things that a Home Instead CAREGiver can help with that can remove at least some portion of the stress of family caregiving.  Things as simple as running errands, providing companionship, medication reminders and shopping.  Or things that you just don’t have time to do such as ironing, light housekeeping or making meals. 

Home Instead Senior Care can be there when you can’t.  But Home Instead can also be there caring for your elderly loved one when you need to take time for yourself perhaps to exercise, go get a massage, or simply for you to take care of other responsibilities for your job or your family.  Maybe you’re called to attend an out-of-town meeting or you need to attend your son or daughter’s college graduation or other important family event in which your elderly loved one isn’t able to attend.

These are real issues that the family caregiver has to handle every single day.  And it’s often tough for the caregiver to even think about taking time out of their busy day to do something for themself.  The stress can cause a wide range of health issues, according to the MetLife research, such as depression, heart disease, diabetes and hypertension and many employeed caregivers experience multiple health problems. And the research also says that female caregivers, even those younger, experience even a higher rate of health issues.

“While this news may be distressing, our research points out that coordination of eldercare services and wellness initiatives may open new avenues of innovation to benefit both employees and employers,” said Sandra Timmermann, Ed.D., director of the MetLife Mature Market Institute.  “Employers can provide support to their employees and, at the same time, reduce their health care costs by anticipating and responding to the challenges of eldercare.”

Home Instead’s process of finding a caregiver to meet your needs is simple and fast.  Many times, we are able to match up the right CAREGiver to your needs either same day or within 24 hours.  While our office staff has regular business hours, you can reach us anytime by simply calling 707.586.1516 to discuss your senior care needs.  Home Instead Senior Care can help you get back to your main role of being a spouse, daughter, son or friend — and even employee — so that the stresses of family caregiving don’t negatively affect your own health.

Whenever we take a trip by airplane, we’re always reminded of the flight attendent’s instructions that, if you’re traveling with a child, always put your own mask on first and then help the child.  It’s a great reminder for family caregivers as well.  Let Home Instead Senior Care of Sonoma County help you stay healthy and provide the best care possible for your elderly parent or loved one.

Put your own mask on first.